I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
