So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
