my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
