**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
