It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
