i barfeds in our rink
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
