8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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