It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
