i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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