the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
