My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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