Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
