I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
