Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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