Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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