I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
