Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
