A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
