yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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