I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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