8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
