She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
