last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
