"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
