YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
