you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
