I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
