All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
