Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
