Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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