He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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