That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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