Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
