it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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