The maid of honor just puked.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
