omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
