at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just invented taco cereal.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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