Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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