I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just invented taco cereal.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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