Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
