He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
