Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
