This show inspires me to have sex in space
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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