Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
