You can't motorboat a personality
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My dick has a subreddit
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
