I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
