I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
