just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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