Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
