I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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